HOW TO BUILD A RAPPORT WITH YOUR INTERVIEWER AND MAKE A GREAT IMPRESSION
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HOW TO BUILD A RAPPORT WITH YOUR INTERVIEWER AND MAKE A GREAT IMPRESSION

The Career Conversation
Updated Nov 21, 2019

Job interviews are a bit like dating – you’re more likely to want to see someone again if you hit it off straight away. Similarly, recruiters will, when it comes down to a close call, pick the candidate they got along with the most.

HIT IT OFF IN YOUR INTERVIEW WITH A FEW SIMPLE TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

The reasons we click with some people and not others are hard to pinpoint, however there are things you can do to help build a rapport with an interviewer. Find out more in our essential guide to successful interview chemistry.

WHY IS A RAPPORT SO IMPORTANT?

The recruitment process should be an objective assessment of a candidate’s suitability for a role but it’s hard to stop human instincts creeping in (Read guide How to identify your unconscious bias and recruit the best talent to learn more). It’s also true that getting along with others is a major requirement in many roles.

Studies have shown that people who can build a relationship effectively in a first interview, usually score better across the board, compared to candidates with similar skills who can’t. More than 50% of human communication is non-verbal and these signs and signals are part of how our brains assess the relative ‘safety’ of another person (are they trustworthy or somebody to be wary of?). That’s why you need to understand how to influence how recruiters feel as well as think.

START BUILDING IT STRAIGHTAWAY

The early stages of an interview really are crucial. In fact some research suggests the impression you create in the first four minutes will count for more than the skills and abilities you demonstrate throughout the interview.

Whatever the exact timeframe the message is clear: first impressions can make or break your chances. You need to make sure that from the moment the interviewer greets you and shakes your hand, you are friendly and confident.

Preparation is key to this. If you have done all you can to understand your skills, strengths, weaknesses and defining career moments, it will give you a reassuring sense of readiness and help you answer questions fully, which will also put the interviewer at ease. Read guide Understanding, owning and talking about your strengths and weaknesses and How to prepare for a behavioral interview to learn more.

NERVES ARE NORMAL. USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

You can’t avoid nerves – they’ve been with us for around 300 million years. The limbic system in our brains has been triggering our fight or flight reflex since the earliest humans roamed the earth. This, in turn, influences how our heart and muscles respond to different scenarios.

The adrenalin rush triggered by these scenarios boosts energy and brain performance. It’s what gives some people superhuman strength in an emergency and allows others to think clearly in stressful situations. Harnessing this release of adrenalin can work to your advantage in an interview, but only if it’s not channeled towards worrying about how you will perform and negative thinking.

Don’t forget your interviewer is likely to be nervous too. They’re under pressure to find the right person, ask the right questions, actively listen, probe when they need more information, work within the confines of legislation, take accurate notes, complete the interview guide, keep you on track, control the interview, sell the role to you and appear likeable themselves. In other words, they have a lot to think about – if you’re relaxed, it’ll help them relax. And that’ll count in your favor.

A FEW TIPS TO HELP YOU CREATE A WINNING RAPPORT:

  • Practice interviews on your own or with friends and meet recruiters informally whenever you can to help build your confidence.
  • Make sure you know what you want and what you can offer (as we’ve mentioned, this is all about preparation). Thoughtful, cogent answers will gain the interviewers trust.
  • Ask someone you trust to give you a pep talk and remind you of why you are a credible candidate for the job.
  • Dress in something appropriate that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
  • Listen to music that energizes you and makes you feel great on the way to the interview (but make sure you’ve packed the headphones away before you enter the building).
  • Get to know the interviewer. Research who you are meeting and find any common ground that might help you make small talk (but only bring up general topics, not personal details you may have found out. They might find it unnerving if you know where they live, what football team they support and their favorite color).
  • Don’t be rushed. Arrive 10-15 minutes early and take a few deep breaths while you are waiting for your interviewer. When we are nervous, it’s important to keep oxygen flowing to the brain to help you think clearly.
  • If you fidget when nervous, fidget while you are waiting for the interviewer not during the interview. Firmly place your hands on your lap to stop yourself.
  • Be confident when you meet: keep good eye contact, a warm smile and, if appropriate, a firm handshake. Practicing saying “hello, nice to meet you” in a mirror can help you perfect this moment, even if you feel silly doing it.
  • Have some informal questions ready to ask if there’s a moment for small talk beforehand, but don’t feel pressured to talk too much. You can’t rewind a first impression so don’t overdo it or ask a detailed question that’s hard to respond to in a packed elevator.
  • Prepare a phrase that’ll buy you some time when a difficult question comes up. Saying “OK, that’s a great question”, will give you a bit of breathing space to think of a good response.
  • And if offered a glass of water, say yes. As above, taking a sip will give you an extra few seconds to think through an answer.
  • Consider your body language. Straightening up your posture can trick your brain into feeling more confident. In the interview sit up straight, lean in a little, smile and nod when you want to demonstrate you understand a point.
  • A sign you and the interviewer are comfortable with each other is when your body language, verbal pitch, tone, and rhythm are all in sync, which is known as ‘mirroring’. It’s your brain’s way of telling you very quickly that another person is likeable, trustworthy and safe. It is the same, often intangible, intuition that triggers your fight or flight reflex in certain situations, such as passing a stranger on a dark street.
  • Eye contact is essential when building rapport with a stranger. Studies have shown the more eye contact you make the higher your interview performance will be rated. It also helps you to stay focused and engaged. But you don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable – if you sometimes slip into ‘stare mode’ be conscious of it.
  • Show you’re listening by saying “OK”, “I see”, “that is interesting” and so on at appropriate moments.
  • If there is more than one person interviewing you, acknowledge each person and pay attention to all of them. If one person asks you a question, direct your response to them.
  • Wait until the person questioning you has finished talking before answering and allow pauses in the conversation rather than nervously rambling to fill a silence.
  • Remember no interview, even a terrible one, is wasted. They’re all a learning experience and will help you pinpoint questions you need to practice more.
  • At the end of an interview thank everyone for their time. If there’s space for more small talk, use it. Never pass up the opportunity to relate on a personal level with your interviewer.

FIVE THINGS TO REMEMBER:

  1. Get the first impression right – the clothes, the introduction and the body language
  2. Retain eye contact throughout
  3. Remain patient and calm
  4. Welcome the opportunity to make small talk
  5. Smile and really try to enjoy yourself
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